The Prayers of the Saints ARE Heard

Norm, remain calm. It’s not a big deal. It probably doesn’t mean anything.

I had a conversation with my brother last night. I gave him and my sister rosaries. As I was briefly telling him about how to pray it, and he reluctantly listened, the conversation drifted pleasantly from Mary (mostly her perpetual virginity) to things like Eucharist, Baptism, general morality, and how the idea of Authority was at the core of these doctrinal differences. I made it clear that I wasn’t trying to convert him (though I guess I was a little). I left it the conversation with this bit of advice: to not simply accept where he is because that’s where he is. I told him not to stay at his church because its where our mom wants him or because its where I first took him when I started going to church. I told him to stay there because its where he honestly believed the truth to be. I told him to just continually pray that God would show him truth, and that he would be unafraid to follow God, but to be willing to truly listen, and not to make up his mind before he listened to God (good advice to for me too as I discern the priesthood).

I overheard him say to my mom about 20 minutes ago that he kind of understands why I chose Catholicism (not so much that I chose Catholicism, but that I chose to follow Christ, but he’ll understand that someday). Of course my mom said “Oh Lord” and said that the rule was that he could choose to go anywhere, but he had to talk to the pastor at the Baptist church first. That’s not a bad thing, but I don’t think my mom is any position to make rules about what my brother must do if he decides to accept the truth. But that’s a little off track.

Anyways, I pray for my brother and sister every day, entrusting them to Mary and the Saints, and they do pray for them.

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

I’m avoiding watching the Parade. I think it is more boring and worse each and every Thanksgiving. So instead I am looking at different churches around the country. Stumbled across Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Fairbanks, Alaska. It has a pretty interesting history, was the first Catholic church in Fairbanks (1904), was pulled by horses across a frozen river, and became the Cathedral for the Fairbanks diocese when it was created in 1962, until the present Cathedral was completed in 1966. The website has an extensive history as well as a large number of photos, both new and old of the church. I thought it was interesting and it would be pretty cool to visit the frozen tundra of Alaska to see this church.

Quote on Sainthood

“If I do not become a saint while I am young, I shall never become one.”

-St. John Berchmans

Confidence Man

As you know, I was at the seminary this weekend. It was a great time getting to know the seminarians there and participating in prayer with them. The weekend started off with participating in the evening prayer of liturgy of the hours, something I pray on my own nearly every day but never have done as a group. Let me tell you, it was awesome. I’ve never experienced prayer quite like it. We also had some holy hours during which we practiced lectio divina. That was probably the best part of the weekend. I could go on and on about how the Word of God struck me, but I don’t have enough space. I will just share the two verses that hit me during our two holy hours and I will perhaps elaborate on them later.

“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.”

-Luke 1:38

“And when they brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.”

-Luke 5:11

We spent a lot of time also doing a lot of physical activity, like capture the flag, soccer, and dodgeball, you know, the regular stuff. One of the great things was just spending time with the seminarians, watching them, listening to them, seeing that we had a lot of similar things going on in our hearts. Being back at NDSU makes it all the much more real to me that I should go to seminary.

One of the things that happened this weekend though was not pretty. I got this constant and nagging feeling that I was not holy enough to be there. As many similarities as there were between the seminarians and me, there seemed to be this unattainable holiness that they had. This voice somewhere kept telling me to stop conning myself into thinking I could be there, that I could take this step, that I could someday be a priest. It kept saying that the Lord knows better than to be taken by me, as I am really a confidence man, pretending to be on God’s side, to be holy, and then just disappoint God and then run. ‘Tis better to run now, then run later and disappoint the One I claim to love.

Yet, I know better than to listen to that voice. Of course I’m not holy enough. Nobody is, but God will give me the graces necessary to do the work he has called me to. St. Phillip Neri said:

Cast yourself into the arms of God and be very sure that if he wants anything of you, he will fit you for the work and give you strength.

And that goes hand-in-hand with what Fr. Jasinski said this weekend. He told us not to worry about all the things that priest do right now. Nobody is asking us to go say Mass tomorrow, to perform a wedding, or bury someone’s family members. We ask for those graces when the time comes. The only grace we need to pray for right now is the grace to say ‘yes’ to whatever it is God is calling us to. That is the best lesson I got this weekend.

Lord, give me the strength and the graces I need at the moment, which is the grace to say ‘yes’ to whatever you call me to. I know that the graces I need later will be given to me when I need them. I ask this in the name of Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, One God, forever and ever. Amen.

 

Live-In Weekend Post To Come Soon

I just came back from the live-in weekend at Cardinal Muench Seminary. I’m still processing the weekend, thinking about and contemplating what God has spoken to me. When I get it all straight I’ll write about it.

A Bad Day

I don’t really know why I say that. It hasn’t been all that bad when compared to other days. I guess I’ve just been on stress overload the last three days. I had a calculus test this evening and have back-to-back organic chemistry and genetics tests tomorrow beginning at 8 in the morning. I’ve been so stressed about O Chem that when I open my book I am utterly unable to concentrate. It feels like I am reading Chinese and all the chemical structures are scribbles that do not mean anything to me. It stinks. But I went to St. Paul’s right after class and just sat in the dark chapel quietly praying the rosary and meditating on the luminous mysteries. I made it my goal to not think about or worry about these tests for that half hour, that all of it would be spent on God. I was fairly successful, and when I came out I felt a lot more at ease, if not confident. I just have to give this to God, to say His will be done, and not mine. If he wants me to pass, he’ll pass me, if not, well I’ll fail and it will be a good thing. Obviously I would rather pass, but if God doesn’t then I don’t want to.

Anyways, I got to eat Thanksgiving dinner at the dining center with Randy and Megren and that was nice because I don’t see them nearly as often as I did when he lived in 313, and that is less than I would like. But it was great. Then I went to my calc test and kicked its booty out of the universe (I think). It was pretty easy, I know my derivative formulas:

Product Rule: h’(x) = f(x)g’(x) + g(x)f’(x)
Quotient Rule: h’(x) = (f’(x)g(x) – f(x)g’(x))/[g(x)]^2
Chain Rule: when h(x) = f(g(x)), h’(x) = f’(g(x))g’(x)

Not that anyone cares. But I feel slightly better than I did before about O Chem and Genetics. So be praying for me. Once that is done, I am home free and can go to Mass and then get ready and get psyched for my weekend at the seminary!!! Be especially praying for me about that! Then its just a few short days until Thanksgiving and I get to go home…

…and talk about the priesthood. You just KNOW it’s going to be a great and frequent topic of conversation, not to mention the unbearably long three and a half hour drive home with my dad. Father-son bonding. Never been good at that. 10 to 1 my mom puts him up to trying to convince me how great marriage is and how I will never experience that should I become a priest. How do I explain to a very non-religious man my very religious decisions, the reasoning behind them. I’m not even sure he knows why I became Catholic, so it will be even harder to explain why I am going to be going to seminary.

There I go again, being negative, I should give them the benefit of the doubt. Think positively. Anyways, I just pray to God that it will go well, and I ask Mary to pray for my parents as she herself sacrificed her only child in a far more tragic way than any parent, including my own have ever had or will ever have to do.

UPDATE: I got a an 80/150 on O Chem
I guess I’ll find out tomorrow what the class average was. Hopefully I’m above it.

Final Season

Conscience Clauses Are Needed!

From the St. Michael Society

¡Dos Dias!

Two days until the live-in weekend at Cardinal Muench. I am really really scared. But I’m really really excited too! I was afraid I was going to be alone there, not knowing anyone, but my friend Tom (who lived on my floor last year, and who also happens to be from Anoka, but I didn’t know him before) is going to be there too, so it makes it seem less daunting. Anyway, I am hoping for a great weekend of insight, and praying that some kind of peace and a ‘final’ decision are on their way soon.

The Moth

Giving up sin is really hard. When you feel tempted, and you choose not to give in to it, it can be disorienting. You just want Christ to vanquish the difficulty, eliminating it in one easy step. But he doesn’t do that. He lets me struggle out of it, like a moth struggles it way out of a cocoon because that is what will make the moth, aka: me, strong. I am becoming a moth and I must follow Christ out of here.